#G096* - POLITICS & THE CLOVEN HOOF

#G096* - POLITICS & THE CLOVEN HOOF

POLITICS & THE CLOVEN HOOF is a variation on an old theme using cows and attitudes to bovine agriculture to understand the many different styles of Governance.

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATIC

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

milk away...

THE EUropean Union

For every 2 cows there are 10 bureaucrats drawing up 2 contradictory regulations each to manage the cows.
The budget office decides printing the regulations will violate green regulations on climate change using too much wood for paper so all cows will be killed and burnt on wood pyres.
Milk will now be imported from Poland and meat from the Argentine.
The regulatory staff will be given early retirement for stress with a huge gratuity before rehiring them to do the same for sheep.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

AN INVESTMENT BANK

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who

sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The

annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one

more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,leaving you

with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your

bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want

three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and

produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market

it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have

lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your

country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

GORDON BROWN

You sell both cows while market prices are the lowest ever then later borrow money to buy a new cow. You have this cow milked and give the milk away. You pay the interest on the loan with which you bought the cow by taxing people who didn't get any milk from it.

When the cow dies you borrow more money and give it to your home secretary who buys a bull and wonders why she can't get any milk from it.

Answering questions about this in parliament you claim that it's been the longest period of sustained economic milking since cows had scales and anything that has gone wrong is because the tories wouldn't even know where the starting handle goes in a cow to great amusement that he doesn't understand at all.

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap."
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821),

Regards,
Greg
Greg L-W.
Greg Lance - Watkins,
c/o Glance Back Books,
Cynulliad i Gymru - The Welsh Assembly [trans.],
17 Upper Church Street,
CHEPSTOW,
NP16 5EX
Monmouthshire,
Britain.

Tel: 01291 - 62 65 62

For More Information & Facts visit:
WEB SITES:
SilentMajority/
MrChad
WelshAssembly
CatterpillarsAndButterflies
UKFirstParty
Greg's WordPress Blog

‘The arrogance and hubris of corrupt politicians
will be responsible for every drop of blood spilt
in the Wars of Disassociation, if Britain does not
leave the EU.

The ugly, centralised, undemocratic supra national policies being imposed by the centralised and largely unelected decisionmakers of The EU for alien aims, ailien values and to suit alien needs stand every possibility of creating 200,000,000 deaths across EUrope as a result of the blind arogance and hubris of the idiologues in the central dictatorship and their economic illiteracy marching hand in glove with the idiocy of The CAP & The CFP - both policies which deliver bills, destroy lives and denude food stocks.

British Politicians with pens and treachery, in pursuit
of their own agenda and greed, have done more
damage to the liberty, freedoms, rights and democracy
of the British peoples than any army in over 1,000 years.

The disastrous effects of British politicians selling Britain
into the thrall of foreign rule by the EU for their own
personal rewards has damaged the well-being of Britain
more than the armies of Hitler
and the Franco - German - Italian axis of 1939 - 1945.

~ for more Quotes & Facts:
http://www.silentmajority.co.uk/

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############Regards############
##########M r C H A D###########

Until we gain our liberty, restore our sovereignty, repatriate our democracy and reinstate our Justice system and our borders - defended by our Police and Military armed with sustainable and obtainable weaponry:
Treat every election as a referendum.

Don't waste your vote on a self serving Politician
Make your vote count
Write on YOUR ballot Paper
LEAVE THE EU